I have NO desire to get married right now.
I don't crave it. I don't imagine it. I don't get sad hoping for it.
I'm assuming my biological clock isn't ticking yet. Maybe I'm a late bloomer?
Pretty much all of my closest friends have serious boyfriends (and looking at rings) or are engaged or already married. It's incredible. I have about three friends who are single conmigo ('with me').
Facebook was unbelievable this holiday season - probably 20 engagements and at least 10 babies. And let's not forget a couple divorces. Fo' real.
It probably doesn't help that I went to school in Wisconsin and lived in Chicago for four years post-college. The midwest gets on that bandwagon young - it's kind of amazing and awkwardly consistent. I sometimes wonder if I stayed out there, if I'd have gone down that path too. BUT, that is not the case. I moved back to LA and chose to pursue a creative path, and I love it.
I'll never forget when my first love and I broke up. I was 23 years old, straight out of college and had just moved to Chicago for a job (he also happened to live there). We sat down about three months after my move and had 'the talk.' He said something I'll remember forever.
He said, 'I feel like you're the kind of woman who is always going to be more focused on your career than raising a family.'
At the time, I got defensive and thought he was an idiot. Fast forward six years. I'm single and fully focused on my career. A more recent boyfriend asked if I'd follow him to Iowa. 'Are you out of your f*cking mind?! No! I just moved back to LA to pursue my dreams.' I guess that wasn't the nicest or most sensitive way to say, 'No, thank you. I don't choose you and Iowa over my life purpose.' We broke up 3 weeks later. He still lives in LA.
So, is it true? Am I part of a generation of women that chooses career over marriage? Or is it a more authentic time when women have the CHOICE to pursue a career instead of marriage at a young age? I prefer option #2.
However, I have no doubt that if my soulmate shows up tonight or tomorrow, I'll be on-board. I'll 'make it work' and give time, love, energy and attention to my career and my boyfriend.
Building a relationship takes an incredible amount of time and energy. It requires 'creative' energy to create a relationship. Well, a creative career path also requires creative energy. It seems that at this point, all of that creative energy is being siphoned to my career, and I'm totally cool with that.
I like companionship with men, and I have a few guys that I hang out with. No one that I make out with right now, but I'm ok with that. That physicality stuff messes with my mind anyway.
So, for all the single ladies out there nearing 30 and fully focused on their careers, it's ok. I've even read that some of us are legitimately 'late bloomers' in love - it's more common than you might think.
Do your work. Live it up. Love being single. Right now, you get to go where you want, when you want, with whomever you want. You don't have to negotiate schedules and travel and family time. You don't have to pretend to like their friends. You don't have to deal with their 'moods.'
For my friends that are in relationships, that sh*t isn't easy either.
Whenever I make a last minute plan, or think about how many guys I've had the opportunity to meet and get to know over the past year and a half of being single, I remember that none of that could have happened if I had a boyfriend.
There are a lot of blessings in being single. (I just have to remind myself of it when another engagement pops up on facebook. Thanks fb.)
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