Self-discovery isn't pretty.
I have a friend. I can be 98% sure he won't respond to my text messages unless he initiates the text conversation. When I text him, there is a good chance that I won't get a response. Feels awesome. But, to be fair, (and get out of the 'victim zone' mentality), I get to make a conscious choice of whether I reach out to him. If I don't care that I hear back, I can go for it. My ego can't be wrapped up in the result.
The other night, he decided we were done talking and just stopped responding.
It doesn't feel good to have my text messages ignored. It doesn't matter if it's a guy I'm dating or a friend or a boy or a girl or a family member. In all ways, it sucks.
The only advantage of that lack-of-responding: It led to me making another discovery about myself!
Discovery: I tend to attract guys who I don't 100% trust, so that I have an excuse to not be 100% emotionally vulnerable with them.
These are the guys who are 'accidentally inconsiderate.'
The guys who you think are listening, but you're not quite sure. The guys who show up a couple minutes late, just because. The guys who don't mean to not text you back, they just got distracted or they're too busy with their own worlds to give a full shit about yours. The guys you make excuses for. When I look back at my dating history...there's a whole string of them....back-to-back.
Yup. I attract the guys that leave me wondering if they actually give a shit.
They add a bit of drama though, which I guess is intriguing for about 4 seconds, until it becomes emotionally draining. They don't even mean to be drama-ish, they just don't care; hence, the 'accidentally inconsiderate' title.
So, I guess what it comes down to is this:
It's time for me to trust myself in order to attract a man that I trust.
When it is time to date again, I will need a man who I know will respond to my text messages, who will show up, maybe even a few minutes early and who will have my back 100%. A teammate.
A man who is consciously considerate.
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