MANners

I was at a guy-friend's house recently.  I was writing in his TV room, while he was working in his office.

As I was writing, the TV un-paused and the musical sensation, SMASH, started playing in full-force.

Not ideal for my writing chi.  

No offense to Smash.  It's a great show, and Katherine McPhee is ridiculously talented, but it doesn't help me write my character bios for my action/suspense feature film.

Well, this wouldn't be an issue, except for the fact that this friend has a super fancy TV system.  The whole house is wired to a control panel in a closet.

Basically, you can just think about what you want the lights to do, and the system can read your mind, start playing your favorite song, cook you a pizza, jack you off and dim the lights to give you the proper mood-lighting for the 'experience'.

So, I had no f'ing clue how to turn the TV off.  It was a computer system, and I'm not the most technologically inclined (female stereotype that I live up to...100%).

I went into his office and asked him to help me turn the TV off.

His response: "You're a smart girl.  You can figure it out."  And went back to working.

My response (in my head): Dick.

I looked at him like he fell out of a tree: Are you f'ing serious?  Are you really that inconsiderate?  Wait, was that a compliment?

After standing there in shock for a moment, I left the office and went to mess around with the control tower.  I didn't figure it out.

He came over and realized that it wasn't as simple as it seemed.  I couldn't just pause it.

I left his place that night knowing that this was a huge wake-up call in the making.

After that experience, my car got a serious flat tire.  My dad and brother were in the neighborhood and came to my rescue.  My dad said it was cool to drive the car home, so I did.  Not a good life decision, and I should have realized he's not mechanically inclined.  My brother, on the other hand, is a genius at mechanical and man stuff (cars, electronics, building things, fixing things, etc.).

I barely made it home.  In fact, I didn't.  I had to pull over at the top of the street because the tire had basically ripped off.

My brother took care of it, and my dad did the huge job of placing a wedge in front of the other tire.

At the end of the debacle, my dad passed me a wrench-looking tool and said in a condescending voice, "Ok, now it's your turn to help."

And then the epiphany came crashing in on me!  He's why I attract these type of guys!!

It comes down to this:  I WANT A GUY WHO LETS ME BE A LADY.

I don't want to be a technological genius.  I don't need to be a mechanic and get my hands dirty changing a tire.  I want to be a lady.

My dream scenario (for the TV situation): My friend listens to me, looks at me, smiles, comes over to me, gives me a hug, kisses me on the forehead and says "I got you."

And then take care of me and the TV.

I want a man.  Not a man who wants me to be a man.