Not Getting Any Ass?

I think I have taken, 'let's take it slow' to a whole new level.

This guy, let's call him Mark, and I have been on three dates so far and have had nothing but an accidental leg touch, a cute 'I acknowledge you' bicep squeeze and a hug hello and a hug goodbye.  He has really, really taken my 'slowly' to heart and is being SO SWEET about it.  He's not even suggesting more at this point, and I am so grateful.  

He's invited me to hang out on multiple occasions, but I've been busy every time.  

I am definitely paying attention to the fact that he's texting me often and asking me to hang out with him and spend time with his friends.

I am also very aware that he doesn't get annoyed about my busy schedule.  

Side note: One guy who asked me out recently asked to meet up on a Sunday night.  Sunday night is my family night - we all cook dinner and eat together.  I told him that and he responded, 'Wow. You even have plans on a Sunday night.  You're high maintenance.'  Yup.  He's a winner.  He then backtracked and apologized for crossing the line.  The Universe is awesome and has made sure that I am busy every time he asks me out.  Thank you God.

I don't know if you remember the guy that I started this blog about - 'the guy who disappeared'.  Well, I am realizing how many lessons I learned from him.  

One of those lessons:  Only get together with a new guy once a week at most.  Maybe twice.  

Otherwise, you don't get to know them over time.  It ends up being a quick, 'Wow, I really, really know him.  We've hung out 10 times in 14 days.'  Wait.  You've only known him for 2 weeks.  You can't know who someone is when you've seen them in only one state of being.  It takes at least three months to kind of get a range on their emotional levels.  I learned that the hard way.

One thing that I'm really appreciating about Mark: He's patient, cool and willing to keep trying, even when he's not getting any ass.  That's pretty incredible.

So, back to the original story.  He invited me to his friend's house for a casual dinner party.  Usually, I would have attached my worth and my pride to how he treated the date and asked him to pick me up and drive me there, even though it's one block from his apartment.

It's old school.  And what I am realizing is that it's antiquated.  Plus, I want to be able to leave when I want.  And I want to keep it really casual...nothing formal and 'date-y'.

I met him at his place.  He hopped in my car and helped me find parking (total gentleman).  I brought chocolate chip cookies.  I dressed in a casual outfit (sweater, jeans and boots) and wore very little makeup.  I was ready to go.  

A piece to the story that I haven't added.  I don't drink alcohol or eat sugar or flour.  So, basically I can't eat at most dinner parties.  And my lack of drinking typically starts many conversations and questions. 

Once again, he was SUCH A GENTLEMAN.  He made sure I had Pellegrino.  He didn't pressure me to eat bacon wrapped dates or a chunk of cornbread or any desserts.  He respected my food and beverage life choices.  Very, very cool.  And he hasn't quizzed me about it.  He just respects it and lets it go.  I love that.

A woman at the party came up to me to ask if Mark and I were together.  I responded that we're getting to know each other, nothing official.  She said we're very cute together and should definitely date.  It was a very unexpected, yet much appreciated affirmation.  

His friends are AWESOME.  They are so welcoming and kind and hilarious.  I was kind of nervous, because Mark just ended a two year relationship a few months ago, so I know his friends all knew her and probably liked her.  I'm the new girl in town.  I don't know if I'm the only girl he's brought around since her, but I didn't feel that I was competing with anyone, which is awesome.  

It was a great night!  It ended early - we left around 10pm.  We're both like old people.  Home early, up early.  He walked me to my car.  He gave me a hug.  We parted ways.  We texted when I got home.   

I'm really starting to get a feel for him (and not physically).

I'm digging this new form of dating.  There is absolutely no confusion as to whether I like him or the way he touches or kisses me.  It takes a really special kind of guy to be down for this type of get-to-know-you process.

For me, the conversation and quality time are like taking a sip of water.  It's refreshing, it's honest, it's healthy.  It's peaceful.  Hooking up too soon is like taking a shot of vodka.  It's a rush, it's fun, it's exciting but it leaves you either wanting more or regretting your life choices.  It's chaotic.   

He left for another long trip, so we'll see if we talk or text while he's out of town.

The guy that 'disappeared' was an awesome communicator when he was in town and then went MIA when he was on business trips.  That sucked.  

I'm pretty lucky.  So far.