I have to say, life isn't that much different now that the Dating Detox is over. Now I just don't have a good excuse to decline dates anymore. I did learn a couple of things...
Lessons Learned:
1) Dating is cray.
2) I don't want to date (traditional style, with dinner and hooking up).
3) Guys who usually get what they want (handsome, ego-centric, financially successful, charming) don't like to hear 'no' and can be quite mean when you decline their requests.
4) I absolutely have to be friends with someone before I consider being in a romantic relationship with them.
5) I'm not looking for love. I'm fully enjoying my life and am not ready to be emotionally available or vulnerable with someone. I'm not ready or willing to invest the time and energy required to build a relationship at this point in my life.
6) Most guy friends aren't actually guy friends.
7) It's not about what a guy says, it's about what he does. What does his behavior tell you?
8) Guys are pretty straightforward. I think that women just ignore what they don't want to hear or see. (makes it easier to keep the fantasy of who they want the guy to be)
9) I'm an alpha female. I've gotta be with a beta male. (The workaholic, Type A dudes don't work for me.)
10) Texting is a really tricky form of getting to know someone. Must be used with care.
Letting go of dating really helped me realize that dating doesn't work for me. I need to get to know someone casually and over an extended period of time before getting physical. Physicality really confuses things for me...it clouds my judgement. Even holding hands, kissing, all of it - it confuses the truth of whether there is a connection emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. You can't know someone well enough in a month or two to commit to a relationship with them, especially if you get together once a week. It takes time, patience and friendship.
I also realized that there are a few things that I'm not willing to compromise (which I have compromised in the past, because he was smart or cute or charming or...).
For me, a man must have some concept of a power greater than himself and a feeling of purpose within the greater Universe, a way to be of service to others. A man must be happy. A man must be nice, affectionate and thoughtful.
I'm done with the 'accidentally inconsiderate' and passive aggressive bullsh*t. I pay way more attention now to how I feel when I'm around guys. It's not about who I want them to be, but about who they are today.
I don't pretend anymore. I don't like sports. I don't drink. I don't want to kiss you after knowing you for 2 hours.
I love my friends. I love my family. I love my life.
Gotta stay in my joy flow. :)
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