Getting to Know Someone is Free

I'm becoming more open to dating as time goes on.  

I'm keeping it really casual, really laid-back.  I just can't do the fancy dinners and formality anymore.

I want to get to know someone, really get to know them, and it's hard to do when you're thinking about what fork to use and whether you should order one course, two courses or say f*ck it and just eat dessert.

I'm sticking to coffee, tea and free.  

Getting to know someone is free.  You don't have to pay any money to have an honest, authentic and fun conversation.  I find that the less a date costs, the more authentic and comfortable the conversation tends to be. 

The amount of money that the meal costs does not equate to how much I'm worth or how much he cares about me.  

The last 'expensive' date I went on was with 'the one who disappeared', and my favorite part of the whole date was walking.  Just walking.  Walking and talking.  That part was free.  And it was the best. We held hands, we got to know each other.  It was so simple.

Recently, I went on a date where we just sat on a bench and watched the sunset and talked.  It was perfect.  No agenda and no expectations.  Afterwards, we got coffee and talked for 2 hours.  

We didn't have to be anywhere but present.

Another guy I've been talking to and spending time with keeps suggesting that we go to dinner, but I just ask for his time. 

Time is the only asset that is not renewable.  It is by far the most precious resource of all.  For me, when someone gives me their time and attention, they show that they value me.  

An expensive dinner with a guy who checks his phone throughout the meal or has to be done with the date by 10pm shows me he's willing to give me his money, which he can earn more of tomorrow.  

My Priorities:

1) Does he show up?

2) Does he show up on time?

3) Does he text me back in a timely manner (or at all)?

4) Does he call when he says he will?

5) Does he make time for me?

Of course, getting dressed up and eating fancy food and being treated like royalty is fun.  I'm all about it, but I will never use the price of the meal as a gauge to determine if a man gives a sh*t about me.  

Honestly, if he brings me my favorite flowers (not the most expensive ones) and takes me to the place with THE BEST BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP or ROASTED ROOT VEGETABLES (I f*ing LOVE those),  that would show me:

1) He knows what I like.

2) He's listening.

3) He wants to make me smile.

When I found out that 'the one who disappeared' had his assistant plan his dates at the fancy restaurants, I knew that he wasn't listening.  He was doing what he did with every girl.  Same routine, different girl.   Who knows?  Maybe he even took us all to the same restaurants.  

I'm not even embarrassed.  

He was really good at making a girl feel special.  They all are.  He even had me look at the directions to the restaurant on his phone and gave me the security code, which was supposed to make me feel like he trusted me, and I, in turn, could trust him.  I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls that move with every date and just changes the code once he drops her off.  

The fancy ones have it down to a science.  

F*ck fancy (for now).  I want honest. 

Side note: Fancy restaurants usually don't serve very much food, so you end up hungry and starved for fun conversation.  Ugh.