One Month: Still Single

I had my one-month Dating Detox anniversary on Tuesday, May 1st!!!  Woo hoo!!

That night, I was asked out by a very kind guy at a jazz bar I went to with some friends.  I explained my dating detox, and I'm pretty sure he thought I was full of shit.  It would be a pretty elaborate lie to avoid a date.  But, I guess it does seem a bit bizarre.

What woman chooses to not date for 6 months?

I've even thought about giving up.  I thought to myself, "I get it now.  I've had a couple epiphanies.  I'm good.  Let's get back in the game."

It's the same bullshit that pops up when I let go of a bad relationship, unhealthy friendships, sugar, flour and alcohol.

Crazy Thinking: 
Well, I haven't eaten pizza in three weeks...one piece is fine.

Well, I haven't called him in a week...it's fine to just text, 'hello.'

Well, I haven't had a drink in 30 days...I think I get it now.  I'm ok.  Just one beer.

THANK GOD I haven't gone back to sugar, flour, alcohol or those relationships.  My sobriety from those substances (and relationships) is only by the grace of God.

Dating for me, right now, is the same journey.

I enjoy the attention of dating.  I enjoy attention from men.  I admit it.  I realized that I especially enjoy attention from men that get a lot of attention from other women.  It's a little ego boost for me.

It's embarrassing to admit that, but it's the truth.

But now I see the error of my ways.  That type of guy is the same guy that give attention to all those girls.  Superficial attention.  And I'm over it.

Attention is a momentary high, a dangerous drug.  It feels good for a minute, maybe two, and then leaves you empty.

And now, when I'm out with my friends, there's no point in picking out the guy at the bar that intrigues me.  Instead, I'm going to be fully present with my friends.

I'm letting my soul attract good people.