No Mo' Drama

Rounding out the first week of my second month of the Dating Detox, I realized that...

I have been choosing guys that ADD DRAMA to my life.  

I've been picking guys that aren't sure they're ready for a relationship.  They string me along, deciding whether they're ready and want to be with me, all while getting me invested in them emotionally.  Let me explain.

In the beginning:

1) They start out GREAT - super invested and gung-ho and ready to date.

2) They're in the moment, fun, thoughtful, courteous, generous and totally into dating. 

3) They say they're cool with waiting to sleep with me. 

4) They say they're cool with me not drinking.  

Then they start pulling things like:

1) They don't text me back for 5 hours.

2) They stop asking me out a few days in advance to make sure my schedule is open.  They start to be 'last minute' guys.

3) They don't call as much as they used to between dates.

4) They go missing.

This all makes me CRAZY!!! 

This inconsistent behavior is super inconsiderate and I've just been eating it up.

The second it starts, I recognize it, but then I choose to continue to engage in it.  It would be easy to let these guys go.

The problem is that they stick around just enough to make me still believe there's a chance and that they're still into me. 

For example: A 'successful, ambitious, driven business guy' I was dating was SO AWESOME when we started seeing each other (let's call him 'he who shall not be named' - like Voldemort).  He was a total gentleman: Asking about my schedule at the beginning of the week, scheduling dates in advance, texting me in-between dates, calling me to talk when he was on business trips or at home after a long day, inviting me into his life, being patient with physical intimacy, laughing together - our senses of humor matched, talking about big, important, intellectual stuff, having a blast when we were together.

He was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  He introduced me to his best friends and his sister.  He said things were moving towards a relationship and that he doesn't date girls the way he was dating me.  It was f-ing awesome.

Then shit started to get weird.  

He stopped calling between dates.  He stopped texting me back regularly...or at all.  He stopped asking me out in advance.  He didn't even confirm if he was taking me out for my birthday.  He didn't take me back to his place to makeout after dates.  He didn't make plans with me for Valentine's Day, but also didn't tell me that we didn't have plans for Valentine's Day, so he left me hanging.

On Valentine's Day, he texted me, "Happy VDay, Kdub."  Who the f*#@ is KDUB?!?!  He never called me that before.

It broke my heart.  

All the drama and inconsistency and lack of consideration for my feelings made me so sad and so crazy.  I cried...a lot.

And I'm not a girl who cries over guys...ever.  

This one really f'd me up.  Thank God I didn't sleep with him.  Just making out and heavy petting (and barely even that).  The emotional crazy-making was insane enough.

BUT NOT NO MO'.

I'm tapping out of the drama.  I'm choosing something different.

I'm choosing peace, joy, stability, love, consistency, dependability and trust.  

Those crazy-making, 'not sure what they want but will drag you through the mud while they figure it out' dudes are not worth the energy.   

Trust me.  

Side note: One of these guys just texted me.  His nickname in my phone is: "Let Go 2."  It's a reminder to let go of this lame-ass pattern of behavior and choose something better.  And it's funny.   :)